on differences

“We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are dull, some have weird names,all are different, but they all live in the same box. “

This sign hangs in the school where I vote and it makes me smile every time I see it.

As you walk into the school, you walk under the veritable UN worthy collection of flags that hang in the entry way. (It’s my understanding that the flags are representative of the school’s student body. If this is true, the school is rather ethnically and culturally diverse.) The impression of all those flags may or may not stick with you as it does me, but if it does and you see this sign on one of the bulletin boards you can appreciate the undertaking that is at hand.

Did you know that while kids understand the differences between themselves and those around them from a rather early age, they don’t really care about them until someone else tells them that being different is wrong? They have to be taught that being different is bad.

I’ve always believed that it’s really differences that make this world go round. Some people are very different than me. I might not agree with others or think their positions have any sort of validity, but I can not tell you how much I appreciate those differences. Some of them make me challenge my understanding of our differences, some make them challenge my understanding of myself. All of them provide an opportunity for improvement.

Why is being wrong different? I challenge you this week. Find someone you KNOW is different than you and instead of focusing on those differences, figure out what you might also have in common.

I dare you.

Animation on Education Change

I don’t want to argue about ADHD being real or not. My thoughts on that are an entirely different post.

I don’t want to talk about the best way to educate our children. There really isn’t a best way. There are many good ways that work and every child learns differently.

All I want to comment on is this: All children are capable of learning. The world our culture and the economy is changing. We need to take a look at how we’re educating our children to keep up with the changing world.

We can do better…What do you think?

on not giving up

An old post from another life…

http://www.saajcc.org/BrugersBagelRun/5k_overall.txt

“Soha Nem Adom Fela Remenyt”.

It’s written on a coffee mug that sits on my desk. This mug was given to me by a buddy of ours from college – Kristof . He had gone to Hungary for either the holiday break or Olympic trials, I can’t recall exactly when it was now, but he brought us girls presents. It was really cute and he was so excited to give us our gifts. Each one with a special message for us. (Adri’s  means something like “if it’s fun it’s probably illegal”)

He told me that mine translated loosely means “Don’t give up.”

He gave it to me when I was having a really hard time with the breakup that DJZ and I had, school and lots of things in life. I was strung out with stress, looking at the end of my college career, the loss of DJZ and challenged with working full-time at the pool and looking for a full time grown up job.

All I really wanted to do was crawl in a hole and scrap it all.

Kind of like this past week and the 5K that I ran this weekend. I didn’t want to get through the week really. I wanted to scrap it all, quit my job and go home to Momma and cry.

During the 5K it got really hard. I was having trouble breathing and getting dizzy. I knew my brother was frustrated with me because I had to walk on and off and that made it even worse.

I didn’t want to keep going. I wanted to stop and say, “Fuck it.”

But he wouldn’t let me. As I slogged through the 3.1 miles and cursed him left and right, we did cross the finish line, but it wasn’t what I wanted it to be. As he hugged me sweaty gross and reeking of Jack Daniels , he said to me, “Please don’t give up on yourself kiddo. You’re better than that.”

(Those words will stick with me forever.)

I feel like I let him down because I didn’t train hard enough or do it right. I know that he’s proud of me for doing it and finishing, but I still feel like I didn’t do well enough. (Here are the official times.)

I’m going to sign up for another one and do it again, but I have to do better next time. I owe it to my brother for not giving up on me. And myself.

Things come pretty easily to me and when they don’t, I have a tendency to walk away or give up on them. I lose interest in things I can’t master and move on from them. This is something I need to work on too.

(The ironic part? Kristof? He was/is a runner.)

So the game plan is to stop using the elliptical and to actually RUN the 5K. Not that being able to do it on the elliptical isn’t wonderful and awesome in it’s own right…but I can do better…and I will.

Because my brother is right. I’m better than that.

(Updated: I would like to clarify that my brother wasn’t mean about anything or even really upset with me. He was frustrated because he wanted to run it – not walk – and a little disappointed that I wanted to give up at all. He was really rather great about everything considering facts I won’t get into. Me feeling like I let him down is all on me. He and I are cool.)

(Updated again: I continually struggle with the running. Currently, I’m nursing a nasty cough and congestion that makes it difficult to breathe so running isn’t really happening this week…but I will continue to try. I will not give up.)

on strangers

Would it surprise you to know that my brother and I used to freak our parents out on a fairly regular basis? (Don’t all children do this?)

 We weren’t putting things in our noses, getting seriously injured all that often, or eating dirt. No that wasn’t our style for the most part. We had a slightly different way of making our parents very nervous.

We were friendly outgoing kids.

When he and I were little, we would talk to almost anyone. (We get this from our father who talks to everyone.)  There were really no strangers in our books, just friends we hadn’t made yet.

It made our parents nervous to say the least. I guess Stranger Danger wasn’t something we learned all that well. Don’t get me wrong, if we didn’t want to talk to someone or be picked up, we were fully ready to make our preferences known, but it wasn’t often that we did.

Something those of us who don’t know us should know, we come from a small town (1,200 people, 3,000 cows) where everyone knew everyone. We spent much of our free time in a small city where we’re related – by blood, marriage, or chance – to roughly 1/3 of the city when school isn’t in session and roughly 1/4 of the city when it is. (Those are estimated figures and probably grossly exaggerated, but it sure felt like it was true)

The issue wasn’t that we were talking to people we knew other than the fact that we both can be chatterboxes, the problem was that we’d talk to anyone we met in Boston, NYC, Florida, wherever. Maybe because we did just about literally know almost everyone we didn’t understand the idea of “stranger” all that well.

 (We’re no worse for wear because of it.)

If you know either one of us, you’ll find this still to be true today. We will talk to anyone and everyone. (Unless they make us uneasy for some reason.)

The cashier at the store needs a smile? Done.
See someone looking lost in a store I frequent? Help them out.
Cutie at a coffee shop looking a little glum? Wink and say, “Have a great day!”
See someone at a meeting with a pair of rockin’ red pumps?  Yes, I complimented her too and asked where she found them.

I think I would still like to believe that there are no strangers in life…just people I haven’t met yet.

If I may ask: Who’s the best stranger you ever spoke to? The worst? Do they have a role in your life? Also, if you’re reading this? Please say hello and don’t be a stranger.

on wishes fishes and regrets

a wish was a fish
(it has been said, but by who)
then we’d all cast nets

the hot days and nights
have given way to color,
cooler nights and days

end of the summer
has come and gone; now it’s fall
not what i wanted

things i’d wished i’d done
and time spent with the wrong guy
not a time waste though

do i wish different?
in some ways, yes i do cause
i might have missed out

can have no regrets
or think shouldas or couldas
even the what ifs

some great times were had
with friends, family and strangers
who then became friends

decent summer fling
baseball and days at the track
it WAS a good time

hopefully i am
right where i should be for now
and great is coming

a great job perhaps?
someone fun to make out with?
it’s anyone’s guess

wish is not a fish
take things as you can – you know…
the past can’t be changed.

on breaking down

i’ll admit – i broke
last night. tears came hot and hard
and with barking cough

“worked yourself up good”
as i cried to my mother
she said, “its ok”

after the tears came
i did feel better – not great
but not so fragile

today? not easy
but each little thing, not wrong?
considering good.

good things planned – good peeps
to see, mj is in town
sunday run 5k

momma might come help
put the mess back together
tomorrow if done

a pretty big if
since no one can tell me when
the guy will be back

i’m trying to see
this as a lesson you see,
lesson in patience

that this too shall pass
ride the storm out til it does
tis life – crap happens

today of all days
i should be thankful of life
i won’t forget that.

on my heart breaking for others

Some things? They just don’t matter. What name brand of the car you actually drive, the designer label on the clothes you wear, if someone does or doesn’t like you…none of that matters.

This matters.

A vibrant, happy, funny little girl was taken last night by the angels. As I followed the updates on Twitter last night my heart broke slowly piece by piece.

A family I’ve never met, but have laughed with, been scared with and now ache for lost their little angel after much to little time spent with them.

This isn’t how it’s supposed to go! Parents should not out live their children. I don’t care if it’s at 63, 42, 33, 25, 23, 18, 5, or 17 months.

This isn’t how it should go. It doesn’t make sense.

Hug your kids, tell your parents you love them, call your siblings, if you love someone and haven’t let them know yet? Don’t wait. Life’s too short.

You know, blogging is a really funny thing, my heart is breaking for a family I don’t know in person, have only met through their words…but it breaks for them none the less.

I’m not a very religious person, but my thoughts, prayers and hopes go out to Heather, Mike, their families and everyone who has been touched by this horrible loss. There are no words to comfort, but I’m truly sorry for their loss.

Donate in Maddie’s name to March of Dimes. I already did.